Alien Storm
md_alienstorm_cover

"The excitement is red-hot in this arcade classic."
- last sentence of the back-of-box blurb

Bollocks, more like.

Alien Storm is an incredibly monotonous arcade conversion, and pretty far from 'classic' in anyone's language. It's essentially a dumbed down Golden Axe clone with a bit of sub-Operation Wolf blasting added as a sort of reward at the end of each level.

I say dumbed down, as the landscape is even more boring than Golden Axe was, only spanning the height of one screen at all times - perhaps I'll allow as some of the backgrounds are all right, but certainly nothing jaw dropping. The alien designs are nice enough, but the "Shape-changing alien scum" are rather underwhelming, since 9 out of 10 people or objects will change to "alien scum" anyway, thus spoiling any real tension or surprise.

The end of level destruction-fests are fun enough, at least initially, but seen-one-seen-them-all, really. Scroll backwards and forwards across a pseudo-3D environment, moving your crosshair around and blasting the environment and the aliens in it.. yawn.

If you're a fan of the arcade game, well, two things: It's really close to the arcade original with the exception of speech missing, and you should stop having sex with your sister.

The cover art is amusing, did I mention that? Always end on a high.

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