FIFA 200x

FIFA 2001

Worst goddamn hockey game I ever played in my life.. I mean, hell, they're not even wearing skates, and don't even get me started on how wrong the puck looks.

FIFA 2002

Oh God. I'm reminded of a Bill Hicks bit.. "WATCH OUT NIGEL, HE'S GOT A SOCCER BALL!" This is much, much better than FIFA 2001 because it has a bigger number on the cover, AND commentary by the legendary John Motson and Andy Gray.. you remember those guys, right? They invented handjobs back in 1971. Do you know what life was like before handjobs were invented? It was very tetchy and on edge, let me tell you.

FIFA 2003

Isn't this the one where Rocky fights Mr T?

FIFA 2004

Why is it that EA busts our balls with these endless FIFA releases, yet you can't actually bust the soccer ball in-game? Has anyone ever kicked a soccer ball hard enough to bust it? Aside from Lee Majors, of course.

FIFA 2005 and up

Ah, fuck it, dude, let's go bowling.

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