Cabela's Dangerous Hunts

Honestly, what the fuck? Who buys this crap at full price? "You know, Ghost Recon is an awesome, awesome game, but I really wish I could shoot a leopard in the goddamn face instead of some random terrorist. WHY GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME! I VOTED REPUBLICAN LIKE YOU WANTED!" Good news, NRA members with too many of chromosome 21, your prayers have been answered.

No, shooting at them doesn't count as birth control.

I really tried to play this properly.. selected a crossbow, since they're theoretically more sporting than a rifle (OK, they're cooler looking), walked stealthily towards the wolf I was hunting.. for about 30 seconds until the generic outdoor scenery bored the crap out of me, and the 'the wolf's over here' red dot on the horizon never seemed to be getting any closer, so I sprinted for it. I get to the wolf, fire a bolt at it, miss, then it attacks me. Repeatedly. I run backwards from it like the wussy nancy boy I am, swap to my "defence" weapon (some kind of a handgun, unfortunately not a .50 caliber one) and BLAM, my hunt was a success. I wonder how many real life hunters are this lousy at it?

You know what? I'm not even going to mention the rhino incident. If you ever see me playing this game again, kick me in the balls as hard as you can to eliminate any opportunities for breeding that my appearance, manners, hygiene level and general attitude haven't already destroyed.

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